Saturday, October 16, 2010


These are days are full. A small voice wakens me while I burrow deeper in the blankets hoping; if not a few more minutes of sleep, at least, a few minutes of quiet, still, cuddles.

The house is chilly and a cuppa tea is my first priority of the day. We have given up the favored daughter, coffee, and settled for its stepsister tea. Warm and milky is the bottom line in our home and it is good enough. I dress the dog in his harness and bell for hunting season and let him out for his morning romp; hoping that he stays close so I will not have to holler for him to "come" in my bathrobe. I can forgive his early morning wandering. The mornings are crisp, the air heavy with the smell of leaf decay. This is October. The month of passings.

For now our days are a mix of busy and quiet. I am busy because this is Teen's last year of homeschooling and it is a busy one. He is going for his GED so he can move on to other learning adventures with ease. He is also busy with blacksmithing, welding, metalsmithing with a local jewler. He is looking for a job as well. As am I.

My days as a stay at home mom may be numbered. In our home, we struggle with trying to be in the moment as well as keeping an eye to future. We look at our debt; which isn't much, and think that if I went to work we could have most of it paid off in a 6 months. So, if Mark were to lose his job, as a result of budget cuts, we would be in OK shape to weather the storm. If I went back to work for 1 year we would have our debt paid off before Evan began kindergarten. One of us would be able to be home with him to pursue his homeschooling career. Mark could pursue his music career. Coulds, Maybes, Hopefullys. It seems funny to me that after the year we have had that we are still functioning at this level.

A sign of the times, I suppose.

But this is what I do know. This is what I can count on... Each evening, Mark comes home. Eats a dinner I have made for him. He has a "music party" with Even upstairs (lots of singing, guitar and tamborine). While downstairs, I sit and listen to "Fresh Air" and knit quietly.

This is the moment and I am in it...

1 comment:

Wendy said...

It's funny, isn't it? We haven't had nearly the trials you did this past year, but even as settled as we believe our life is, there is a lot of unsettledness and a lot of maybes and hopefullys down here, too.

If my book ...,

Hopefully Deus Ex Machina will be able to ....

Seems like you guys are really good at looking to the future and figuring out the best move toward where you want to be. I know you'll do what works best, and even if it is a trial in the process, you'll come out on the other side richer for having gone there ;).