Gettin' into Gratitude

I am Thankful. Yes, I am.

I am thankful for my great kids. They teach me something new each day. I learn from them to slow down and pay attention. I learn to dig deeper into that well of patience sometimes. They remind me to tap into my creativity through their own innate creativity. They provide me a reason for knitting. They lead me to great books. They inspire me to bake cookies.

I am very grateful for my kind, handsome, patient husband. He listens. He is a handy guy. He is reliable. We are never without flow in our conversations. He is a great reader and it is a pleasure to find books for him to read at Christmas time. He looks very fine in a hand knit sweater. He loves me. I love him.

I am grateful for daily vitamins. Yup. I've been taking them for a week now and I feel good. Maybe it is the vitamin D. Maybe it is the change in caffeine consumption. I have cut down to one cup of coffee with a cup of green tea later in the day. I can't control what the neighbors are up to but I can control how I physically react to this situation. Stress is a big no-no for me. My MS reacts to the stress in bad ways. So I am grateful that I had the awareness that I might need a little more physical health support through these tough times.

I am grateful for small moments of peace and stillness. Yesterday was a warm and sunny day. Wee One's nap time coincided with a sunny hour of knitting, tea and lawn chair placed on the south side of our house.

I am thankful for rainy days. Today, I bake bread, applesauce cake and Shepard's Pie for dinner.

I may want to sell my home and find a more friendly neighborhood. But I am grateful for my home. It is small and cozy and was a dream fulfilled. I have learned a lot here. I have learned how to garden a large plot. I have grown many things I have never grown before. I have learned how to tend sheep. I have learned how to cope through a long winter without a coffeeshop on every corner. I have learned how to build a fire, cook on a woodstove. I have learned how to care for pigs and chickens. All this learning has lead hubby and I to dream of being farmers even if that is not in the cards right now.

I am grateful for our sheep. Such gentle creatures ( well except for Rama-a-lama he can get pushy), each with their own personality. They are wooly beasties right now. I look forward to spring shearing because we will be milling their wool and I will be able to knit sweaters for my family with their wool next fall.

Indeed, I am grateful.

And so it goes...

Recent events have me feeling reflective. It is what I do, I guess. I need to take the senseless and have it make make sense. There has to be a lesson in all this , somewhere, I hope.

These last few months have been hard on our family.

Wee one manages to do well during the week. It was a hard transition , at first, when Hubby was gone during the week. But he seems to have settled into the new routine of our week days. One of the things I have managed to do is keep a pretty firm routine to the day. I make sure he is outside as much as possible. We keep a pretty good nap and bed time schedule. We have Story Time at the library and Sunday school, soon winter playtime at a local gym will begin. I am working with him to make Christmas presents. He helps me cook. He helps me hang laundry. ( okay, really, he helps me get exercise by scattering laundry about, but he means well;). Weekends are difficult for him. This is when he expresses his anger toward his Dad being gone for the week. Gotta let him have his feelings. But it is not easy for Dad who misses him. So we are just trying to make sure that he has time alone with Dad each weekend. We reinforce lessons on manners and speaking kindly. But we also have to take time to listen. he tells his Dad, " I miss-ed ya Tad"

Teen is busy. He goes to Portland every other weekend to be with his Dad. He has started his peer leadership program again. He is taking a photography class at Maine College of Art in Portland; so we drive him down on the weekends he is not with his dad. He has volunteered to cook one dinner a week. He tends to the animals, takes care of his chores without complaint. He has begun to babysit his younger brother if I need to go to a town council meeting, or needed to run a quick errand. He is a good kid.

Hubby and I are muddling through. We feel the weekends are too short. We have date nights. We try to make a point to "just be" as a family. But time is so limited to get all the things on that never-ending to-do list done; that many weekends are busy either playing catch-up or putting out a small fires such as fixing a vehicle, patching a leaky roof, or just getting more firewood put up.

I know that Hubby is sad. He worries when the neighbors act up because he can't be here. He misses his family, his bed, his dog. We Skype every night and it has helped but it can't replace his presence at our dinner table, his extra pair of hands after a long day, his adult conversation about the books we are reading.

But I am reassured. As a couple this has been our first big challenge. We've been married for 4 years. There were some growing pains at first but we had never been challenged such as we have been recently. And I think we are doing okay. I am not so bothered by the underwear on the floor as I may have been in the past. Everyone is doing the best they can under the circumstances. And silly as it may seem to this otherwise frugal family we buy a lottery ticket every once in a while just because...it only takes one ticket to win and maybe we could win. We need to daydream about the easy fix, even if there is none.

When this is all over...when we have sold our house, found a new home; when our family can be together, when we have settled and all this struggle, fear, frustration is behind us, perhaps there will be more lessons gleaned from this time in our lives. For now, I am grateful to know that my wee one can express his emotions, that my teen is maturing and a good person and that my marriage is strong...underwear on the floor and all.

ok...yeah....so where was I..oh yes I remember!

We try to be good people.

We really try.

When we see a neighbor stuck in the snow, we stop to push them free.

When we see a neighbor chase loose livestock down the road, we join in the chase.

A need arises and we are able to contribute, we try to help out where we can. We understand that it sorta works like Karma, it comes back tenfold.

But we find ourselves challenged these days. We find ourselves saying things that are uncharacteristic. We find ourselves reacting out of emotion and fear.

We are weary. We feel under siege. We gain little comfort by small victories, such as a microbus that can now take Hubby to work, because that only means now he can take it two hours away from home. Our family really NEEDS to be together.

Our living situation stinks right now. If it were only a matter of the separation our family is experiencing, we could find ways of coping.

But the boogie man has reared his head and it is ugly. Our neighbor ( and I use this term loosely) sent a letter to all land owners on the private road stating that we had 2 weeks to clear brush on our property along the road or " It will be done". We sent a certified letter, stating very clearly, that he does not have permission to alter our property. We posted "no trespassing" signs along the road frontage. Our signs have been ripped down. We have contacted local law enforcement, town government. This family has been called into the town manager's office and told under no uncertain terms to leave us alone.

Instead, we find lumber thrown into our sheep pasture. Brush cut. More signs ripped down. We find brush cut on our property out of spite. All of this is done under the cover of darkness, while I am home alone.

There are several police patrols of the road at night. But it does not seem to stop them from their mischief.

On Monday, I left early to drive 3 hours to share Hubby's birthday lunch with him. It was a truly glorious day. Dry , warm and sunny. A beautiful day. Perfect sing -at- the- top- of -your- voice music on the radio. Wee one was in the back seat singing songs with me. We shared a great lunch, enjoyed some playground time. When I arrived home I found "bad neighbor" behind the wheel of a back-hoe loader digging up pot holes in the road to repair them. Fine.

Tuesday I had to go pick up teen from his weekend with his Dad. Again, "Bad neighbor"was out there patching the potholes.

At this point I should state that there is a plan, with other land owners on the road, to have the road graded early next week.

Late Tuesday afternoon after dark, "bad neighbor" took his hoe and dug up the side of the road opposite our property. There is a wet land along that side of the road and a wooden culvert that has been working fine for the last 75 years. He pushed all the debris that he dug up and filled in the area where the water drains from the road. There is a pretty good bog still filled with water. The water is now level with the edge of the road where before it was below the road. This is not his property but part of a right- of-way. We have sought legal advice which confirmed that he has rights to ingress and egress only, no right to maintain.

Our concern is that after the snow melts next spring, or after a month of rain ,such as we had this last summer, the road will be in our front yard and in my garden.

Today was day three. Hubby was home for the holiday. Teen and I volunteered at church for a Veteran's day Luncheon. When we got home "bad neighbor" was out there messing around his mess. Loud noise all day, beeping of his machine....

We are weary. We try to be good people. We help out where help is needed but we also just want to be LEFT ALONE. Where before we had to worry about hubby getting home in a snow storm, now we have to worry about where we will be able to get to our driveway when the road is washed out.

We need to gather our friends and community around us. We keep telling ourselves that this is a trial and when we get through this life will be better.

Pray for us.

And the winners are....

Your names were written on small pieces of paper. Tossed into a cast iron pot. Picked out of the pot by my gorgeous assistant, the lovely 3 year old wee one. We both agreed that we wished that as he kept picking names out of the pot that we had a give away for everyone.

With further ado...

Theresa you won the Guide to the Good Life.

Rob you won the recipe cards.

Kristina you won the yarn or hat.

Congratulations!

My email is KarinL33@yahoo.com Send me your emails and I will have your gifts in the mail by the end of the week.

Thankyou to everyone who commented. I was feeling the love this week. Thanks:)

I just wanna say.....

Thankyou!

I started this blog over a year ago. I remember when I decided to start the blog. I was standing in our gully surrounded by the buzz of mosquitos and picking the wild raspberries that have over taken this low spot. It was just one of those moments ...the sun shining, my improvised yogurt container cum berry bucket filling, my enthusiasm for the beauty of the fruit. I felt an inspiration for writing that I hadn't felt in a long time.

I used to write everyday for years. I attended poetry readings and my poems have been published in several small journals. I never finished that English degree. But I love words. Arranging them on the page is play for me.

At one point I just lost the groove. I felt like there was too much navel gazing and all I was finding was lint. I am creative by nature and knitting took over where words left off.

My call to this small parcel of land reawakened writing for me. I have children and finding time for the kind of writing I used to engage in is difficult. But I still write.

Now, I want to address you folks that have decided to follow me, you readers who check in here to see how much food I have put up, you folks that leave comments of encouragement and support. I want to say ThankYou!

I meant to do a giveaway in July around the 1 year blogaversary but life was just a little crazy then.

So I would like to announce a giveaway in three parts.

First Item is a this Book. It is a great introductory primer on living green.

Second item is a collection of my favorite recipes collected on recipe cards. Many of the recipes are simple food, tasty and healthy.

The final item is either something knitted by me such as a hat or mittens or if you would rather knit it yourself I have some lovely Peace Fleece to share.

So here are the specifics: Leave a comment, or message me on facebook ( if you are a friend) by next Tuesday at 8pm ( after the polls close). I will announce winners on Wednesday.

Good Luck!

And again thankyou for reading my blog!

Independence Day Challenge Year 2, 26th week

All the leaves have fallen from the trees. And most of them are now mulching my garden. We are still eating kale, rutabaga, parsnips and jerusalem artichokes, a smattering of beet greens from the garden.

Our days have settled into a nice rhythm, with the emphasis being on routine. We wake early, have breakfast, take care of our appointed chores and then tackle any small project we have planned for the day. This may be preparing a sewing project to be sewn when wee one naps, it may be a small craft project that the wee one and I tackle together, it may be one final canning job or any needed baking for the day. Wee one naps and I settle in with some knitting needles. When he wakes from his nap he hangs out with teen while teen takes care of animals and brings in firewood and I clean the kitchen and prepare dinner. Teen cleans up from dinner while I get wee one ready for bed. After bedtime stories and songs, Teen and I enjoy a movie on Netflix and I spend the evening knitting. Bedtime includes a re-reading of the Dark is Rising Series. I read this to the teen years ago and I am enjoying again.

But we miss Hubby.

Weekends have become hectic. Hubby comes home on Friday night. A good dinner awaits him. Saturdays are filled with either getting the teen to Portland for his photography class, or work at crossing off the many things on the to-do list. Sunday we either go to church or have something else fill our day. In the afternoon, I work to get food prepared for hubby to take for the week. I want to make sure that he eats well while he is gone for the week. It also saves us money as he does not have to buy a bunch of "bachelor food" like pizza, mac and cheese and ramen. He leaves with fresh bread, jars of homemade soup, leftovers from our dinners of the weekend and a small treat. Hubby leaves on Sunday night.

Plant: nothing

Harvest: Rutabaga, kale, parsnip, beet greens.

Preserve: nothing but I have some more apples that need to be sauced.

Manage reserves/ prepped: finished knitting wee one's sweater (hope to have pictures this weekend) , raked leaves and used them to mulch the garden, have been working on Handmade Christmas presents, I am contemplating the church Christmas craft fair and will have to get to work on some stuff for that soon. Hubby helped a friend put down their pigs for some bacon that we will get by the end of the week. Went to Marden's, a local salvage store, and found fabric for Halloween Costumes. I found elastic for .25 a yard and picked up a couple of yards.

Local Food: good neighbor gave us some bacon and ham from his pig. I found out about a local beef farmer and we will be filling the freezer with some of their meat., local eggs from local feed store.

Eat the food: Thai spice squash soup. Brown Rice Pilaf with Kale. Baked beans with local bacon, shoulder roast from last years pig, garden peas. Made my first batch of Ginger Beer.

Waste not:more of the usual

Eating the Food

Hubby is bringing home dinner tonight. Sadly, dinner is burritos. What makes burritos sad? Well, our friend Chuck has a burrito shop in Farmington. It has been a life dream of his to have a small business. His menu is simple; burritos or quesadillas, your choices of fillings. I am very partial to the chicken burritos. He has a funky little shop, a great groove to the place, every thing is a "green" as can be managed for food service but there is some serious green missing in the till. So, he is closing the shop before he has too big a hole to dig out of. So sadly, this will be the last burritos from his shop that hubby will bring home.

In the meanwhile, I have a soup simmering on the stove. Tomorrow will be a rainy day and this soup will be our dinner tomorrow night. Which kinda had me thinkin'...

Katie over at Two Frog Home has a personal challenge she has given herself. She will be eating only from food storage, with the only food purchases made consisting of perishables. We were able to manage something similar last year. There were many weeks when we only bought eggs, milk, butter and cheese. We will try to accomplish this again this year.We don't have a pig to fill the freezer this year but the Farmer's Market convenes once a month so we will buy our meat there once a month. Food storage management involves eating the food and replenishing it. After all what is the point of putting up all this food if we are not going to eat it?

So, this is what I am thinking....At the beginning of each week I will post our grocery list. This is more in order to keep me honest. Writing a grocery list and sticking to it helps to keep the grocery budget down. It involves planning as opposed shopping on a whim. At the end of the week I will post our menu for the week. I will follow this challenge from November 1st until March 31. It is my hope to share recipes with you. I also hope that you, kind reader, feel free to share recipes in the comments section.

The soup on the stove is a Thai squash soup. I baked 2 buttercup squash in the oven for an hour. Scooped out the innards into my handy dandy food mill, added 1 quart of chicken stock (from preserving sanity) added one can of coconut milk and about a tablespoon of curry paste, salt to taste and about a cup of unsweetened coconut toasted. I will serve this with a brown rice pilaf of ginger, raisins, apples and kale.

So what's for suppa?