Saturday, July 24, 2010

on and on...

Please pay no attention to the messy room;)

We are returning to the balance in our home. The "Tad" settles into his routine. The "mama" is back at her work. Our lines of territory are falling back into place. Not that we are hard fast about who does what, where;but, rather, we return to our strengths and allow the other to return to their's. For me that is the kitchen and my work of putting food by. For Mark, this means tinkering on engines and finding the tools and materials we need for several projects.

When I returned to my jobs I realize that many things have changed.It used to be that I read stories at nap time. I would read three stories and sing some "Baby Beluga", occasionally, I would sing some "Waltzing with Bears". Tad was in charge of bedtime which entailed 2 books and some songs played on the guitar. In the time that I have been at work, "Tad" has read the stories at naptime and I have read stories at bedtime. But I have not had many occasions to sing my standard songs. Today, I found my voice for singing. Still slightly off key but my audience is forgiving as long as I provide snuggles:)

I have also noticed that the busy-ness of our summer has stolen those quiet moments of awe. Bodies have changed. I notice this in the face of the teen that has lost any vestige of baby softness; as his chiseled out features define his face as he enters manhood. Muscles are firmed and his stride has more swagger than I have noticed before, the intervals between shavings are shorter. Evan, too, has grown. Tonight, I was in charge of tub time. The boy enjoys his summer and wears it on his bruised and dirty legs. Those legs are longer. I wonder how pants will fit when it become a cooler season again. In the meantime, I have noticed that he no longer has a body of a toddler. He is longer and leaner. He runs with the confidence of a boy in command of his body, there is not hint of uncertain toddler gait. It is what these critters do, they grow. He is my last baby and he is no longer a wee one but a boy. He wonders at bugs and snakes, rocks and dirt. He negotiates over cucumbers and he has a mind of his own.

The weeks are flying by. Each day is filled with the work of our season. Each year I promise self that the next summer will not be a crazy-busy as the current year. I have visions of quietly and regularly working in the garden, slow days on sandy shores, meals shared with friends and family camping trips. Some summer I am sure we will realize this vision. But for now, it is now. After seeing the changes that happened before my busy unaware eyes this summer, I realized that this is the moment I should be paying attention to. So hard to do and so easy to forget in the flow of tide that this life is these days.

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